Daniel Schreiber is a Berlin-based essayist and biographer of Susan Sontag. These philosophical reflections on solitude and loneliness, coinciding with the first year of the pandemic, reveal his ambivalence about living alone and his frustration that the idea of the couple so defines society that anyone who does not fall in line is considered aberrant.

“I never made a conscious decision to live alone,” Schreiber says. Although he has had many partners, some of them long term, and even lived with two of them for a time, he is single at the time of writing, and can’t help but think that his state implies some kind of deficiency. Part of this he attributes to queer shame that he must have subconsciously internalized, and part to Pauline Boss’s concept of the “ambiguous loss” – missing what one has never had.

The author has many friends, men and women, but feels that society tells us platonic love is less than romantic love; “friendship is thus reduced to a time of transition … a threshold state that ends when one successfully integrates into traditional forms of cohabitation.” His friend novelist Hanya Yanagihara (who gives a quote on the cover) corroborates this suspicion, which A Little Life affirms: “In the end, she said, you are always alone when you are single.”

The “Never So Lonely” chapter is about the Covid-19 situation in particular. Schreiber acknowledges that being alone does not have to equate to loneliness, yet the less he saw of people during lockdowns, the more he struggled mentally and emotionally. “At some point, a self-reinforcing dynamic of fear set in: the lonelier I felt, the less I could talk about it. And the less I talked about it, the lonelier I felt.”

Hiking, gardening, yoga and, eventually, foreign travel were among his coping strategies. This is as much a mini-memoir as it is a work of cultural criticism. Its academic tone is evident from a glance at the bibliography: Hannah Arendt, Roland Barthes, Joan Didion, Deborah Levy, Audre Lorde, Maggie Nelson and so on. This resonated with other loneliness- or solitude-themed books I’ve read, such as The Lonely City by Olivia Laing and Journal of a Solitude by May Sarton. It offers not answers, but solemn, quiet thoughts.

(Original publication: 2021. Translated from the German by Ben Fergusson.)

With thanks to Reaktion Books for the proof copy for review.