Carol Shields Prize Reads: Pale Shadows & All Fours
Later this evening, the Carol Shields Prize will be announced at a ceremony in Chicago. I’ve managed to read two more books from the shortlist: a sweet, delicate story about the women who guarded Emily Dickinson’s poems until their posthumous publication; and a sui generis work of autofiction that has become so much a part of popular culture that it hardly needs an introduction. Different as they are, they have themes of women’s achievements, creativity and desire in common – and so I would be happy to see either as the winner (more so than Liars, the other one I’ve read, even though that addresses similar issues). Both: ![]()
Pale Shadows by Dominique Fortier (2022; 2024)
[Translated from French by Rhonda Mullins]
This is technically a sequel to Paper Houses, which is about Emily Dickinson, but I had no trouble reading this before its predecessor. In an Author’s Note at the end, Fortier explains how, during the first Covid summer, she was stalled on multiple fiction projects and realized that all she wanted was to return to Amherst, Massachusetts – even though her subject was now dead. The poet’s presence and language haunt the novel as the characters (which include the author) wrestle over her words. The central quartet comprises Lavinia, Emily’s sister; Susan, their brother Austin’s wife; Mabel, Austin’s mistress; and Millicent, Mabel’s young daughter. Mabel is to assist with editing the higgledy-piggledy folder of handwritten poems into a volume fit for publication. Thomas Higginson’s clear aim is to tame the poetry through standardized punctuation, assigned titles, and thematic groupings. But the women are determined to let Emily’s unruly genius shine through.
The short novel rotates through perspectives as the four collide and retreat. Susan and Millicent connect over books. Mabel considers this project her own chance at immortality. At age 54, Lavinia discovers that she’s no longer content with baking pies and embarks on a surprising love affair. And Millicent perceives and channels Emily’s ghost. The writing is gorgeous, full of snow metaphors and the sorts of images that turn up in Dickinson’s poetry. It’s a lovely tribute that mingles past and present in a subtle meditation on love and legacy.
Some favourite lines:
“Emily never writes about any one thing or from any one place; she writes from alongside love, from behind death, from inside the bird.”
“Maybe this is how you live a hundred lives without shattering everything; maybe it is by living in a hundred different texts. One life per poem.”
“What Mabel senses and Higginson still refuses to see is that Emily only ever wrote half a poem; the other half belongs to the reader, it is the voice that rises up in each person as a response. And it takes these two voices, the living and the dead, to make the poem whole.”
With thanks to The Carol Shields Prize Foundation for the free e-copy for review.
All Fours by Miranda July (2024)
Miranda July’s The First Bad Man is one of the first books I ever reviewed on this blog back in 2015, after an unsolicited review copy came my way. It was so bizarre that I didn’t plan to ever read anything else by her, but I was drawn in by the hype machine and started this on my Kindle in September, later switching to a library copy when I got stuck at 65%. The narrator sets off on a road trip from Los Angeles to New York to prove to her husband, Harris, that she’s a Driver, not a Parker. But after 20 minutes she pulls off the highway and ends up at a roadside motel. She blows $20,000 on having her motel room decorated in the utmost luxury and falls for Davey, a younger man who works for a local car rental chain – and happens to be married to the decorator. In his free time, he’s a break dancer, so the narrator decides to choreograph a stunning dance to prove her love and capture his attention.
I got bogged down in the ridiculous details of the first two-thirds, as well as in the kinky stuff that goes on (with Davey, because neither of them is willing to technically cheat on a spouse; then with the women partners the narrator has after she and Harris decide on an open marriage). However, all throughout I had been highlighting profound lines; the novel is full to bursting with them (“maybe the road split between: a life spent longing vs. a life that was continually surprising”). I started to appreciate the story more when I thought of it as archetypal processing of women’s life experiences, including birth trauma, motherhood and perimenopause, and as an allegory for attaining an openness of outlook. What looks like an ending (of career, marriage, sexuality, etc.) doesn’t have to be.
Whereas July’s debut felt quirky for the sake of it, showing off with its deadpan raunchiness, I feel that here she is utterly in earnest. And, weird as the book may be, it works. It’s struck a chord with legions, especially middle-aged women. I remember seeing a Guardian headline about women who ditched their lives after reading All Fours. I don’t think I’ll follow suit, but I will recommend you read it and rethink what you want from life. It’s also on this year’s Women’s Prize shortlist. I suspect it’s too divisive to win either, but it certainly would be an edgy choice. (NetGalley/Public library)
(My full thoughts on both longlists are here.) The other two books on the Carol Shields Prize shortlist are River East, River West by Aube Rey Lescure and Code Noir by Canisia Lubrin, about which I know very little. In its first two years, the Prize was awarded to women of South Asian extraction. Somehow, I can’t see the jury choosing one of three white women when it could be a Black woman (Lubrin) instead. However, Liars and All Fours feel particularly zeitgeist-y. I would be disappointed if the former won because of its bitter tone, though Manguso is an undeniable talent. Pale Shadows? Pure literary loveliness, if evanescent. But honouring a translation would make a statement, too. I’ll find out in the morning!
Love Your Library, April 2025
Thanks to Eleanor, Laura, Marcie, and Skai for posting about their recent library reading!
Sadly, my library system’s Mobile Library service closed down recently.

New at the library, however, is a digital piano, which can only be played with headphones on.

I was delighted to come across Lucy Mangan’s paean to Bromley Library in Bookish: “it was ugly as sin. Unlike my beloved Torridon, it was modern. Its cold, stark, straight lines, metal bookshelves and thin polyester carpeting … amplified every sound. … But it had more books than Torridon. Lots more books. More books in one place than I had ever seen. … And it had a secret. Behind a set of unassuming double doors was hiding a silent reading room and a reference library.” It was a sacred space for her even when she wasn’t borrowing books.
My library use over the last month:
(links are to books not already reviewed on the blog)
READ
- The Things He Carried by Stephen Cottrell (from my church’s theological library)

- Raising Hare by Chloe Dalton

- Broken Country by Clare Leslie Hall

- We Do Not Part by Han Kang

- Bookish: How Reading Shapes Our Lives by Lucy Mangan

- Poetry Unbound by Pádraig Ó Tuama

- The Leopard in My House: One Man’s Adventures in Cancerland by Mark Steel


SKIMMED
- The Courage to Be by Paul Tillich
CURRENTLY READING
- Spring Is the Only Season: How It Works, What It Does and Why It Matters by Simon Barnes
- Women by Chloe Caldwell
- All Fours by Miranda July
- Stoner by John Williams (a reread for May book club)

CHECKED OUT, TO BE READ
- Case Histories by Kate Atkinson (for June book club)
- A Conversation with a Cat by Hilaire Belloc
- Day by Michael Cunningham
- The Meteorites: Encounters with Outer Space and Deep Time by Helen Gordon
- Period Power: Harness Your Hormones and Get Your Cycle Working for You by Maisie Hill
- I Am Not a Tourist by Daisy J. Hung
- The Forgotten Sense: The Nose and the Perception of Smell by Jonas Olofsson
- The Waiting Rooms by Eve Smith

ON HOLD, TO BE PICKED UP
- Bellies by Nicola Dinan
- Looking After: A Portrait of My Autistic Brother by Caroline Elton
- Rebel Bodies: A Guide to the Gender Health Gap Revolution by Sarah Graham
- Of Thorn & Briar: A Year with the West Country Hedgelayer by Paul Lamb
- The Secret Lives of Booksellers and Librarians: True Stories of the Magic of Reading by James Patterson & Matt Eversmann
IN THE RESERVATION QUEUE
- Good Girl by Aria Aber
- Don’t Forget We’re Here Forever: A New Generation’s Search for Religion by Lamorna Ash
- A Sharp Scratch by Heather Darwent
- The Husbands by Holly Gramazio
- Normally Weird and Weirdly Normal: My Adventures in Neurodiversity by Robin Ince
- The Homemade God by Rachel Joyce
- Enchanted Ground: Growing Roots in a Broken World by Steven Lovatt
- Is a River Alive? by Robert Macfarlane
- Whisky Galore by Compton Mackenzie
- The Persians by Sanam Mahloudji
- Spring: The Story of a Season by Michael Morpurgo
- Ripeness by Sarah Moss
- The Age of Diagnosis: Sickness, Health and Why Medicine Has Gone Too Far by Suzanne O’Sullivan

RETURNED UNFINISHED
- The Alternatives by Caoilinn Hughes – The type is so small in the paperback that I couldn’t cope. I will have to get this on Kindle or secondhand in hardback sometime.
- Fundamentally by Nussaibah Younis – The first couple of short chapters were entertaining enough but a little bit try-hard. I decided to focus on other things.
RETURNED UNREAD
- Deep Cuts by Holly Brickley – The first pages weren’t gripping and it was requested after me. Let me know if it’s worth trying again another time.
- Sarn Helen by Tom Bullough – It’s at least the second time I’ve had this out from the library, thinking it would be a perfect one to take on holiday to Wales, and not read it. I glanced at the first few pages but, you know, I don’t actually enjoy most long-distance walking adventure books.
What have you been reading or reviewing from the library recently?

Share a link to your own post in the comments. Feel free to use the above image. The hashtag is #LoveYourLibrary.
#1952Club: Patricia Highsmith, Paul Tillich & E.B. White
Simon and Karen’s classics reading weeks are always a great excuse to pick up some older books. I assembled an unlikely trio of lesbian romance, niche theology, and an animal-lover’s children’s classic.

Carol by Patricia Highsmith
Originally published as The Price of Salt under the pseudonym Claire Morgan, this is widely considered the first lesbian novel with a happy ending (it’s more open-ended, really, but certainly not tragic; suicide was a common consequence in earlier fiction). Therese, a 19-year-old aspiring stage designer in New York City, takes a job selling dolls in a department store one Christmas season. Her boyfriend, Richard, is a painter and has promised to take her to Europe, but she’s lukewarm about him and the physical side of their relationship has never interested her. One day, a beautiful blonde woman in a fur coat – “Mrs. H. F. Aird” (Carol) – comes to her counter to order a doll and have it sent to her out in New Jersey. Therese sends a Christmas card to the same address, and the women start meeting up for drinks and meals.
It takes time for them to clarify their feelings to themselves, let alone to each other. “It would be almost like love, what she felt for Carol, except that Carol was a woman,” Therese thinks early on. When she first visits Carol’s home, a mothering dynamic prevails. Carol is going through a divorce and worries about its effect on her daughter, Rindy. The older woman tucks Therese into bed and brings her warm milk. Scenes like this have symbolic power but aren’t overdone; another has Therese and Richard out flying kites. She brings up homosexuality as a theoretical (“Did you ever hear of it? … I mean two people who fall in love suddenly with each other, out of the blue. Say two men or two girls”) and he cuts her kite strings.
The second half of the book has Carol and Therese setting out on a road trip out West. It should be an idyllic consummation, but they realize they’re being trailed by a private detective collecting evidence for Carol’s husband Harge to use against her in a custody battle. I was reminded of the hunt for Humbert Humbert and his charge in Lolita; “the whole world was ready to be their enemy,” Therese realizes, and to consider their relationship “sordid and pathological,” as Richard describes it in a letter.
The novel is a beautiful and subtle romance that unfolds despite the odds against it. I’d read five of Highsmith’s mysteries and thought them serviceable but nothing special (I don’t read crime in general). This does, however, share their psychological intensity and the suspense about how things will play out. Highsmith gives details about Therese’s early life and Carol’s previous intimate friendship that help to explain some things but never reduce either character to a diagnosis or a tendency. Neither of them wanted just anyone, some woman; it was this specific combination of souls that sparked at first sight. (Secondhand from a charity shop that closed long ago, so I know I’d had it on my shelf unread since 2016!) ![]()
The Courage to Be by Paul Tillich
Tillich is a theologian who left Nazi Germany for the USA in 1933. I had to read selections from his work as part of my Religion degree (during the Pauline Theology tutorial I took in Oxford during my year abroad, I think). This book is based on a lecture series he delivered at Yale University. He posits that in an age of anxiety, which “becomes general if the accustomed structures of meaning, power, belief and order disintegrate” – certainly apt for today! – it is more important than ever to develop the courage to be oneself and to be “as a part.” The individual and the collective are of equal importance, then. Tillich discusses various philosophers and traditions, from the Stoics to Existentialism. I have to admit that I barely got anything out of this, I found it so jargon-filled, repetitive and elliptical. It’s been probably 15 years or more since I’ve read any proper theology. I adopted that old student skimming trick of reading the first paragraph of each chapter, followed by the topic sentence of each paragraph, but that left me mostly none the wiser. Anyway, I believe his conclusion is that, when assailed by doubt, we can rely on “the God above the God of theism” – by which I take it he means the ground of all being rather than the deity envisioned by any specific religious system. (University library)
Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
My library has a small section of the children’s department called “Family Matters” that includes the labels “First Time” (starting school, etc.), “Family” (divorce, new baby), “Health” (autism, medical conditions) and “Death.” I have the feeling Charlotte’s Web is not at all well known in the UK, whereas it’s a standard in the USA alongside L.M. Montgomery and Laura Ingalls Wilder. Were it more familiar to British children, it would be a great addition to that “Death” shelf. (Don’t read the Puffin Modern Classics introduction if you don’t want spoilers!) Wilbur is a doubly rescued pig. First, Fern Arable hand-rears him when he’s the doomed runt of the litter. When he’s transferred to Uncle Homer Zuckerman’s farm and an old sheep explains he’ll be fattened up for slaughter, his new friend Charlotte intervenes.
Charlotte is a fine specimen of a barn spider, well spoken and witty. She puts her mind to saving Wilbur’s bacon by weaving messages into her web, starting with “Some Pig.” He’s soon a county-wide spectacle, certain to survive the chop. But a farm is always, inevitably, a place of death. White fashions such memorable characters, including Templeton the gluttonous rat, and captures the hope of new life returning as the seasons turn over. Talking animals aren’t difficult to believe in when Fern can hear every word they say. The black-and-white line drawings are adorable. And making readers care about invertebrates? That’s a lasting achievement. I’m sure I read this several times as a child, but I appreciated it all the more as an adult. (Little Free Library) ![]()

I’ve previously participated in the 1920 Club, 1956 Club, 1936 Club, 1976 Club, 1954 Club, 1929 Club, 1940 Club, 1937 Club, and 1970 Club.
Poetry Month Reviews & Interview: Amy Gerstler, Richard Scott, Etc.
April is National Poetry Month in the USA, and I was delighted to have several of my reviews plus an interview featured in a special poetry issue of Shelf Awareness on Friday. I’ve also recently read Richard Scott’s second collection.
Wrong Winds by Ahmad Almallah
Palestinian poet Ahmad Almallah’s razor-sharp third collection bears witness to the devastation of Gaza.
Through allusions, Almallah participates in an ancient lineage of poets, opening the collection with an homage to Al-Shanfarā and ending with “A Lament” for Zbigniew Herbert. Federico García Lorca is also a major influence. Occasional snippets of Arabic, French, and German, and accounts of travels in Berlin and Granada, reveal a cosmopolitan background. The speaker in “Loose Strings” considers exile, engaged in the potentially futile search for a homeland that is being destroyed: “What does it mean to be a poet, another ‘Homer’/ going home? Trying to find one?”
Tonally, anger and grief alternate, while alliteration and slant rhymes (sweat/sweet) create entrancing rhythms. In “Before Gaza, a Fall” and “My Tongue Is Tied Up Today,” staccato phrasing and spaced-out stanzas leave room for the unspeakable. The pièce de résistance is “A Holy Land, Wasted” (co-written with Huda Fakhreddine), which situates T.S. Eliot’s existential ruin in Palestine. Almallah contrasts Gaza then and now via childhood memories and adult experiences at checkpoints. His pastiche of “The Waste Land” starts off funny (“April is not that bad actually”) but quickly darkens, scorning those who turn away from tragedy: “It’s not good/ for your nerves to watch/ all that news, the sights/ of dead children.” The wordplay dazzles again here: “to motes the world crumbles, shattered/ like these useless mots.”
For Almallah, who now lives in Philadelphia, Gaza is elusive, enduringly potent—and mourned. Sometimes earnest, sometimes jaded, Wrong Winds is a remarkable memorial. ![]()
Is This My Final Form? by Amy Gerstler
Amy Gerstler’s exceptional book of poetry leaps from surrealism to elegy as it ponders life’s unpredictability.
The language of transformation is integrated throughout. Aging and the seasons are examples of everyday changes. “As Winter Sets In” delivers “every day/ a new face you can’t renounce or forsake.” “When I was a bird,” with its interspecies metamorphoses, introduces a more fantastical concept: “I once observed a scurry of squirrels,/ concealed in a hollow tree, wearing seventeenth/ century clothes. Alas, no one believes me.” Elsewhere, speakers fall in love with the bride of Frankenstein or turn to dinosaur urine for a wellness regimen.
The collection contains five thematic slices. Part I spotlights women behaving badly (such as “Marigold,” about a wild friend; and “Mae West Sonnet,” in an hourglass shape); Part II focuses on music and sound. The third section veers from the inherited grief of “Schmaltz Alert” to the miniplay “Siren Island,” a tragicomic Shakespearean pastiche. Part IV spins elegies for lives and works cut short. The final subset includes a tongue-in-cheek account of pandemic lockdown activities (“The Cure”) and wry advice for coping (“Wound Care Instructions”).
Monologues and sonnets recur—the title’s “form” refers to poetic structures as much as to personal identity. Alliteration plus internal and end rhymes create satisfying resonance. In the closing poem, “Night Herons,” nature puts life into perspective: “the whir of wings/ real or imagined/ blurs trivial things.”
This delightfully odd collection amazes with its range of voices and techniques.
I also had the chance to interview Amy Gerstler, whose work was new to me. (I’ll certainly be reading more!) We chatted about animals, poetic forms and tone, Covid, the Los Angeles fires, and women behaving ‘badly’. ![]()
Little Mercy by Robin Walter
In Robin Walter’s refined debut collection, nature and language are saving graces.
Many of Walter’s poems are as economical as haiku. “Lilies” entrances with its brief lines, alliteration, and sibilance: “Come/ dark, white/ petals// pull/close// —small fists// of night—.” A poem’s title often leads directly into the text: “Here” continues “the body, yes,/ sometimes// a river—little/ mercy.” Vocabulary and imagery reverberate, as the blessings of morning sunshine and a snow-covered meadow salve an unquiet soul (“how often, really, I want/ to end my life”).
Frequent dashes suggest affinity with Emily Dickinson, whose trademark themes of loss, nature, and loneliness are ubiquitous here, too. Vistas of the American West are a backdrop for pronghorn antelope, timothy grass, and especially the wrens nesting in Walter’s porch. Animals are also seen in peril sometimes: the family dog her father kicked in anger or a roadkilled fox she encounters. Despite the occasional fragility of the natural world, the speaker is “held by” it and granted “kinship” with its creatures. (How appropriate, she writes, that her mother named her for a bird.)
The collection skillfully illustrates how language arises from nature (“while picking raspberries/ yesterday I wanted to hold in my head// the delicious names of the things I saw/ so as to fold them into a poem later”—a lovely internal rhyme) and becomes a memorial: “Here, on earth,/ we honor our dead// by holding their names/ gentle in our hollow mouths—.”
This poised, place-saturated collection illuminates life’s little mercies. ![]()
The three reviews above are posted with permission from Shelf Awareness.
That Broke into Shining Crystals by Richard Scott
I’ve never forgotten how powerful it was to hear Richard Scott read aloud from his forthcoming collection, Soho, at the Faber Spring Party in February 2018. Back then I called his work “amazingly intimate,” and that is true of this second collection as well.
It also mirrors his debut in that the book is in several discrete sections – like movements of a musical composition – and there are extended allusions to particular poets (there, Paul Verlaine and Walt Whitman; here, Andrew Marvell and Arthur Rimbaud). But there is one overall theme, and it’s a tough one: Scott’s boyhood grooming and molestation by a male adult, and how the trauma continues to affect him.
Part I contains 21 “Still Life” poems based on particular paintings, mostly by Dutch or French artists (see the Notes at the end for details). I preferred to read the poems blind so that I didn’t have the visual inspiration in my head. The imagery is startlingly erotic: the collection opens with “Like a foreskin being pulled back, the damask / reveals – pelvic bowl of pink-fringed shadow” (“Still Life with Rose”) and “Still Life with Bananas” starts “curved like dicks they sit – cosy in wicker – an orgy / of total yellowness – all plenty and arching – beyond / erect – a basketful of morning sex and sugar and sunlight”.
“O I should have been the / snail,” the poet laments; “Living phallus that can hide when threatened. But / I’m the oyster. … Cold jelly mess of a / boy shucked wide open.” The still life format allows him to freeze himself at particular moments of abuse or personal growth; “still” can refer to his passivity then as well as to his ongoing struggle with PTSD.

Part II, “Coy,” is what Scott calls a found poem or “vocabularyclept,” rearranging the words from Marvell’s 1681 “To His Coy Mistress” into 21 stanzas. The constraint means the phrases are not always grammatical, and the section as a whole is quite repetitive.
The title of the book (and of its final section) comes from Rimbaud and, according to the Notes, the 22 poems “all speak back to Arthur Rimbaud’s Illuminations but through the prism of various crystals and semi-precious stones – and their geological and healing properties.” My lack of familiarity with Rimbaud and his circle made me wonder if I was missing something, yet I thrilled to how visual the poems in this section were.
As with the Still Lifes, there’s an elevated vocabulary, forming a rich panoply of plants, creatures, stones, and colours. Alliteration features prominently throughout, as in “Citrine”: “O citrine – patron saint of the molested, sunny eliminator – crown us with your polychromatic glittering and awe-flecks. Offer abundance to those of us quarried. A boy is igneous.”
I’ve photographed “Peridot” (which was my mother’s birthstone) as an example of the before-and-after setup, the gorgeous language including alliteration, the rhetorical questioning, and the longing for lost innocence.

It was surprising to me that Scott refers to molestation and trauma so often by name, rather than being more elliptical – as poetry would allow. Though I admire this collection, my warmth towards it ebbed and flowed: I loved the first section; felt alienated by the second; and then found the third rather too much of a good thing. Perhaps encountering Part I or III as a chapbook would have been more effective. As it is, I didn’t feel the sections fully meshed, and the theme loses energy the more obsessively it’s repeated. Nonetheless, I’d recommend it to readers of Mark Doty, Andrew McMillan and Brandon Taylor. ![]()
Published today. With thanks to Faber for the free copy for review. An abridged version of this review first appeared in my Instagram post of 11 April.
Read any good poetry recently?
Hay-on-Wye Trip & Book Haul (Plus a Little Life Complication)
Last week was our ninth time visiting Hay-on-Wye. Our previous trip was in October 2023 for my 40th birthday. Prompted by my overhaul post last month, I managed to finish a couple more of the 16 books I’d bought that time, taking me to 4 read and 1 skimmed; I’ve also read the first quarter of So Happy for You by Celia Laskey. Considering it was less than 18 months between visits, I’m going to call that an adequate showing. However, I will endeavour to be better about reading this latest book haul (below) in a timely fashion!
Because we were staying four nights, there was no need to rush through all the bookshops in a day or two, though that would be possible; instead, we parcelled them out and mixed up our shopping with walks, short outings in the car, and relaxing in the comfy cottage just over the English border in Cusop. I had work deadlines to meet within the first few days, but on another evening we took advantage of the place having Netflix to watch My Neighbor Totoro.
I’ve gotten secondhand book shopping in Hay down to a science over the years. Check on opening days and hours carefully or you can miss out. Thursday to Saturday is the best window to go: the Thursday market is excellent for local produce and crafts, and it’s nice to see the town bustling. (Though I’ve never seen it at Festival time, and wouldn’t want to!)
Start with the bargain options: the Little Free Library shelves by the river, where I scored Electricity by Victoria Glendinning; the sale area outside Hay Cinema Bookshop, the dedicated honesty shop beside Richard Booth’s Bookshop (new this trip), and the Book Passage beside Addyman Books – all £1/book; and the honesty shelves on the castle grounds, where it’s £2/book. Most of my purchases came from these areas. Just call me thrifty!

Next, the mid-priced options: Cinema, Broad Street Book Centre, Hay-on-Wye Booksellers, Clock Tower Books, and the new British Red Cross bookshop, which is not cheap for a charity shop but has a good selection of relatively recent stuff. (Oxfam, however, has moved away from books and primarily sells clothes, new products and bric-a-brac.) Cap it off with Addymans + Addyman Annexe, Cinema, Booth’s, the Poetry Bookshop and Green Ink Booksellers.
I had the best luck in Cinema this time, where I found two remainder books, three bargain books (one not pictured because it will be a gift) and the Howard Norman short stories – a particular thrill as his work is not often seen in the UK. Cinema and Booth’s are the greatest pleasure to browse. At Booth’s I bought my priciest book of the trip – Fountainville by Tishani Doshi, a retelling of stories from the Mabinogion – and indulged in a bookish tote bag (as if I needed another!). It was especially pleasing to find the Doshi and the Lewis in Hay as they are Welsh authors so will cover me for Reading Wales Month next year.
I wasn’t in the market for new books this time, not having any vouchers at my disposal, but those who are will also enjoy perusing Gay on Wye, North Books, and the large selection of new stock mixed in thematically at Booth’s. All told, that’s 15 places to shop for books.
Alas, The Bean Box, where you could get the best coffee in town, has now closed. We returned to Hay Distillery for delicious gin drinks and had Shepherd’s ice cream (a must) twice. New to us on this trip were nearby Talgarth and its excellent Mill café, the Burger Me (oh dear) restaurant at The Globe, a drink at Kilverts Inn, and an evening walk down the river to a nice shingle spit.
The weather was improbably warm and sunny – as in, I packed an umbrella and raincoat but never used them. I did need my woolly hat, scarf and gloves, but only on the first morning when we climbed up a hill. The rest of the time, it was blue skies and blossom, lambs in the fields, and 20 degrees C, for which, in early April, we could only be grateful – but also, as the lady on the till at Cinema rightly observed, it’s mildly disturbing.
This was our first major trip with our secondhand electric car, which needs rather frequent charging. En route we broke the journey at Gloucester and toured its cathedral; on the way back, we plumped for usefulness over aesthetics by stopping at carparks in Ross-on-Wye and Cirencester. We now choose routes that avoid motorways, which makes for more leisurely and scenic touring.
- Pwll y grach waterfall
Two days after we bought the car from a local acquaintance, this creature entered our lives. I certainly didn’t intend to adopt another cat a shade under six weeks after Alfie’s death. (I haven’t even finished reading Grieving the Death of a Pet on my Kindle; I still haven’t brought myself to read your kind comments on my post about losing Alfie.) But we were deeply lonely in a way we hadn’t been expecting. I would object to the use of the word “replace” – there is no replacing Alfie; we still miss him for his predictability and dignity as well as all his own funny ways. I’ve come to realize that grief is ongoing, and all of a piece: mourning Alfie took me back to the same place of grief I inhabit for my mother, and missing them and others lost in recent years is tied into my helpless sadness over natural disasters, humanitarian crises, the state of affairs in my home country, the trajectory of the planet, and on and on.
Any road, the adoption moved very quickly: from expressing interest on a Thursday to getting a call back on a Saturday to meeting and taking him home on a Sunday afternoon. Benny (“Tubbs” as was) is only a year old and full of energy. He came home with a tapeworm but got over it within a week after a targeted worming treatment. It’s been a big adjustment for us to have a cat who doesn’t sleep most of the day and can jump up onto any counter or piece of furniture. Benny considers every waking moment a chance for playtime and mischief. But he is also so sweet and affectionate. And we haven’t laughed this much in a long, long time.
We had booked the Hay trip long before we knew about Benny and were concerned it would be too soon to leave him. But we needn’t have worried; he was settled in here from Day One. Our regular cat sitter visited twice a day and he was absolutely fine. She sent us WhatsApp updates on him and cute photos, in most of which he is a blur chasing his toy snake!
So that’s what’s been going on with me. And of course, I’ve been frantically reading there in the background (36 books on the go at the moment): pre-release e-books for paid reviews, review copies I’ve been sent for the blog, new releases from the library, and the rest of the McKitterick Prize longlist – my shortlist choices are due on the 23rd, eek! I still hope to read a couple of novels from the Carol Shields Prize longlist before the winner is announced, too.
Hope everyone is having a happy spring!
April 3rd Releases by Emily Jungmin Yoon & Jean Hannah Edelstein
It’s not often that I manage to review books for their publication date rather than at the end of the month, but these two were so short and readable that I polished them off over the first few days of April. So, out today in the UK: a poetry collection about Asian American identity and environmental threat, and a memoir in miniature about how body parts once sexualized and then functionalized are missed once they’re gone.
Find Me as the Creature I Am by Emily Jungmin Yoon (2024)
The Korean American poet’s second full-length work is broadly about loss experienced or expected – but also about the love that keeps us going in dire times. The free verse links personal bereavement with larger-scale tragedies, including climate grief. “All my friends who loved trees are dead” tells of Yoon’s grandmother’s death, while “I leave Asia and become Asian” remembers the murders of eight Asian spa workers in Atlanta in 2021. Violence against women, and the way the Covid-19 pandemic spurred further anti-Asian racism, are additional topics in the early part of the book. For me, Part III’s environmental poems resonated the most. Yoon reflects on the ways in which we are, sometimes unwittingly, affecting the natural world, especially marine ecosystems: “there is no ‘eco-friendly’ way to swim with dolphins. / We do not have to touch everything we love,” she writes. “I look at the ocean like it’s goodbye. … I look at your face / like it’s goodbye.” This is a tricky one to assess; while I appreciated the themes, I did not find the style or language distinctive. The collection reminded me of a cross between Rupi Kaur and Jenny Xie.
Published in the USA by Knopf on October 22, 2024. With thanks to Atlantic Books for the free copy for review.
Breasts: A Relatively Brief Relationship by Jean Hannah Edelstein
From my Most Anticipated list. I loved Edelstein’s 2018 memoir This Really Isn’t About You, and I regularly read her Substack. This micro-memoir in three essays explores the different roles breasts have played in her life: “Sex” runs from the day she went shopping for her first bra as a teenager with her mother through to her early thirties living in London. Edelstein developed early and eventually wore size DD, which attracted much unwanted attention in social situations and workplaces alike. (And not just a slightly sleazy bar she worked in, but an office, too. Twice she was groped by colleagues; the second time she reported it. But: drunk, Christmas party, no witnesses; no consequences.) “It felt like a punishment, a consequence of my own behavior (being a woman, having a fun night out, doing these things while having large breasts),” she writes.
“Food” recounts how her perspective on her breasts changed when she had her two children via IVF – so they wouldn’t inherit Lynch syndrome from her – and initially struggled to breastfeed. “I wanted to experience the full utility of my breasts,” she explains, so, living in Brooklyn now, she consulted a lactation consultant known as “the breast whisperer.” Part 3 is “Cancer”: when Edelstein was 41, mammograms discovered Stage 0 cancer in one breast. “For so long I’d been subject to unwelcome opinions about the kind of person that I was because of the size of my breasts.” But now it was up to her. She chose a double mastectomy for balance, with simultaneous reconstruction by a plastic surgeon.
Although this is a likable book, the retelling is quite flat; better that than mawkish, certainly, but none of the experiences feel particularly unique. It’s more a generic rundown of what it’s like to be female – which, yes, varies to an extent but not that much if we’re talking about the male gaze. There wasn’t the same spark or wit that I found in Edelstein’s first book. Perhaps in the context of a longer memoir, I would have appreciated these essays more.
With thanks to Phoenix for the free copy for review.
Love Your Library, March 2025
Thanks to Eleanor, Marcie, and Naomi for posting about their recent library reads!

The library is the place with all the answers, as the below passage from When the Stammer Came to Stay by Maggie O’Farrell has it. The illustrations place this children’s book in a timeless past, perhaps somewhere between the 1920s and 1950s.
A major character in Every Day Is Mother’s Day by Hilary Mantel also heads to a library when looking for important information, but she is dismayed to find how much it has modernized (this is set in 1974):
“The library had changed a good deal, she noticed. The old wooden desks had gone, and the newspapers in racks. There were low vinyl seats that an elderly person could not get in and out of comfortably. There were modern pictures on the wall, sunbursts of yellow and orange, and a part marked ‘Children’s Play Area’. Children did not play in it, but ran about, loud and healthy. Fluttering notices on a cork board advertised yoga classes and Community Welfare Programmes, play-groups and Councillor’s Surgeries. People talked quite unashamedly in ordinary voices; there had only been an odd subdued whisper in the past”
We did actually have an anonymous complaint in the library comments book the other week about it being pretty loud for a library. I can only shrug. We don’t have any rules against phone use; patrons come to use the wi-fi and often do Zoom calls or interviews. I, too, would miss the silence if I came for a place to study.
My library use over the last month:
(links to books not already reviewed on the blog)
READ
- Mama’s Sleeping Scarf by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

- Old Soul by Susan Barker

- Every Day Is Mother’s Day by Hilary Mantel

- When the Stammer Came to Stay by Maggie O’Farrell

- Long Island by Colm Tóibín

- Three Days in June by Anne Tyler


CURRENTLY READING
- The Alternatives by Caoilinn Hughes
- We Do Not Part by Han Kang
- The Leopard in My House: One Man’s Adventures in Cancerland by Mark Steel
CHECKED OUT, TO BE READ
- Day by Michael Cunningham
- The Meteorites: Encounters with Outer Space and Deep Time by Helen Gordon
- Period Power: Harness Your Hormones and Get Your Cycle Working for You by Maisie Hill
- The Forgotten Sense: The Nose and the Perception of Smell by Jonas Olofsson
+ a bunch of London guides for advance planning for my sister’s visit in July
IN THE RESERVATION QUEUE
- Case Histories by Kate Atkinson (for book club)
- Raising Hare by Chloe Dalton
- Time of the Child by Niall Williams
- Rebel Bodies: A Guide to the Gender Health Gap Revolution by Sarah Graham
ON HOLD, TO BE PICKED UP
- The Honesty Box by Lucy Brazier
- Deep Cuts by Holly Brickley
- Sarn Helen: A Journey through Wales, Past, Present and Future by Tom Bullough (to take to Hay-on-Wye)
- Maggie Blue and the White Crow by Anna Goodall
- Broken Country by Clare Leslie Hall
- I Am Not a Tourist by Daisy J. Hung
- Bookish: How Reading Shapes Our Lives by Lucy Mangan
- The Walking Cure: Harness The Life-Changing Power of Landscape to Heal, Energise and Inspire by Annabel Streets

RETURNED UNREAD
- Autocracy, Inc. by Anne Applebaum – Too close to reality right now.
- Homesickness by Colin Barrett – Borrowed as a potential Reading Ireland Month book, but I couldn’t get into it.
- I Want to Talk to You: And Other Conversations by Diana Evans – Requested off me plus (this will sound really shallow) her spoken delivery was so bad on the Women’s Prize longlist announcement video that I was put off reading her.
- After a Dance by Bridget O’Connor – Same as for the Barrett.
What have you been reading or reviewing from the library recently?

Share a link to your own post in the comments. Feel free to use the above image. The hashtag is #LoveYourLibrary.





















A remote artist’s studio and severed fingers in Old Soul by Susan Barker and We Do Not Part by Han Kang.

A lesbian couple is alarmed by the one partner’s family keeping guns in Spent by Alison Bechdel and one story of Are You Happy? by Lori Ostlund.
New York City tourist slogans in Apple of My Eye by Helene Hanff and How to Be Somebody Else by Miranda Pountney.
A stalker-ish writing student who submits an essay to his professor that seems inappropriately personal about her in one story of Are You Happy? by Lori Ostlund and If You Love It, Let It Kill You by Hannah Pittard.

A writing professor knows she’s a hypocrite for telling her students what (not) to do and then (not) doing it herself in Trying by Chloé Caldwell and If You Love It, Let It Kill You by Hannah Pittard. These two books also involve a partner named B (or Bruce), metafiction, porch drinks with parents, and the observation that a random statement sounds like a book title.
Shalimar perfume is mentioned in Scaffolding by Lauren Elkin and Chopping Onions on My Heart by Samantha Ellis.















When Doll English is kidnapped by the Ferdia brothers in revenge for a huge loss on a drug deal, his girlfriend, mother and brother must go to unexpected lengths to set him free. There’s plenty of cursing and violence in this small-town crime caper, yet Barrett has a light touch; the dialogue, especially, is funny. The dialect is easy enough to decipher. Nicky, Doll’s girlfriend, lost both parents young and works in a hotel bar. She’s a strong character reminiscent of the protagonist in
Inspired by a real-life disaster involving a train on the approach to Paris’s Montparnasse station in 1895. The Author’s Note at the end reveals the blend of characters included: people known to have been on that particular train, whether as crew or passengers; those who might have journeyed on it because they spent time in Paris at around that period (such as Irish playwright John Millington Synge); and those made up from scratch. It’s a who’s-who of historical figures, many of whom represent different movements or social issues, such as a woman medical student and an African American painter who can pass as white in certain circumstances. Donoghue clearly intends to encompass the entire social hierarchy, from a maid to a politician with a private carriage. She also crafts a couple of queer encounters.
This was a reread for book club, and oh how brilliant it is. I’m more convinced than ever that the memoir-in-essays is a highly effective form because it focuses on themes or moments of great intensity and doesn’t worry about accounting for all the boring intermediate material. A few of these pieces feel throwaway, but together they form a vibrant picture of a life and also inspire awe at what the human body can withstand. No doubt on Wednesday we will each pick out different essays that resonated the most with us, perhaps because they run very close to our own experience. I imagine our discussion will start there – and with sharing our own NDEs. Stylistically, the book has a lot in common with O’Farrell’s fiction, which often employs the present tense and a complicated chronology. The present tense and a smattering of second person make the work immediate and invite readers to feel their way into her situations. Otherwise, my thoughts are as before – the last two essays are the pinnacle.
This is actually her third children’s book, after Where Snow Angels Go (2020) and The Boy Who Lost His Spark (2022). All are illustrated by Daniela Jaglenka Terrazzini, who has a richly colourful and slightly old-fashioned style; she makes kids look as dignified as adults. The books are intended for slightly older children in that they’re on the longer side, have more words than pictures, and are more serious than average. They all weave in gentle magic as a way of understanding and coping with illness, a mental health challenge, or a disability.
Goss’s first child, Ella, died at 16 months of a rare heart condition, Severe Ebstein’s Anomaly. This collection is in three parts, the first recreating vignettes from her daughter’s short life, the purgatorial central section dwelling in the aftermath of grief, and the third summoning the courage to have another baby. “So extraordinary was your sister’s / short life, it’s hard for me to see // a future for you. I know it’s there, … yet I can’t believe // my fortune”. The close focus on physical artefacts and narrow slices of memory wards away mawkishness. The poems are sweetly affecting but never saccharine. “I kept a row of lilac-buttoned relics / in my wardrobe. Hand-knitted proof, something/ to haul my sorry lump of heart and make it blaze.” (New purchase from Bookshop UK with buyback credit)
I can’t remember where I came across this in the context of recommended family memoirs, but the title and premise were enough to intrigue me. I’d not previously heard of Maitland, who at the time was known for a TV investigative reporting show called Watchdog exposing con artists. The irony: he was soon to discover that his own mother was a con artist. By chance, he met a journalist who recalled a scandal involving his parents’ old folks’ homes. Maitland toggles between flashbacks to his earlier life and fragments from his investigation, which involved archival research but mostly interviews with his estranged sister, his mother’s ex-husbands, and more.
If you mostly know Mantel for her Thomas Cromwell trilogy, her debut novel, a black comedy, will come as a surprise. Two households become entangled in sordid ways in 1974. The Axons, Evelyn and her intellectually disabled adult daughter, Muriel, live around the corner from Florence Sidney, who still resides in her family home and whose brother Colin lives nearby with his wife and three children (the fourth is on the way). Colin is having an affair with Muriel’s social worker, Isabel Field. Evelyn is dismayed to realize that Muriel has, somehow, fallen pregnant.